TODAY IS THE 29TH OF FEB.

A leap year. After a night sleep, I woke up with a new lease of life. All problems will be thrown back on 28th of Feb. And 29th will be a new day. 29th of Feb is always a cool day for me. It’s like the special day which will only come every 4 years. Since young, I always wish that I could be a 29th Feb baby. It’s cool and a rare date for a birthday and parents can take 4 years to prepare a big big birthday party to celebrate for you. Talking about leap year, I feel like watching the movie, the leap year after watching it’s trailer. A romance movie about promise and meeting up every 4 years on the 29th of Feb. But all these fantasy love story will never appear in real life. Where on earth got people willing to be separated every 4 years? Ah, next time if I get married, I would want to get married on the 29th of Feb. Why? Can save money on wedding anniversary ma. hahahaha. Eeeeeeeeee, cheapo!!

NOW I KNOW HOW YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT ME. I’M A BEGGAR BEGGING FOR FRIENDSHIP. Rest assure people, I’ll not step into your world anymore. For the first time, you shouted at me, for the first time, your words are hurtful. From now, my number will not ring and appear in your phones, my msn won’t appear in your screen and I will not appear in your vision. With a last salute, I’m off. End of all those problems I’m facing.

Now, I’ve found out who are those posts referring to. I sensed your changes. I regretted my actions seriously. Being a nosey fellow, involving in people’s relationship. As I’ve said in the message, just leave if you want. Let me count the number of friends I have now, Caleb, Brandon, you & Jean. Who else? No more, 4 right? Leave if you want. Be like him. Block me, curse me, hate me, leave me alone. Now then my 4 will become 3 and eventually to none. To you guys, my mouth and words are evil. Perhaps, it’s my bad. I know it takes tow hands to clap. My words are evil, my attitude is lousy. Two words, I SUCKED right? So much for putting you guys first place in my heart. So much for being friends. So much for making each other’s lives happy for moments. Thanks for the silence you kept, thanks for the rejects you’ve given, thanks for the fake smile you gave to keep me smiling, thanks for the time you’ve provided. I know you are off, I’ll send you off with smile.  Leave me if you want to. I’ve no more to lose.  But still, I cherished every friendship I have. Even if u guys are all off, I’m here. Maybe to you guys something I hold on to is crap but I believe 9 BROTHERS are forever!

1. Caleb
2. Me
3. Emest
4. Clarence
5. Brandon
6. Melvin
7. Jing Lie
8. Raefaath
9. Asiq

I miss the days. Before I go, I’ll like to mark a mark in this wordpress. THIS IS MY FUCKING FIRST WORDPRESS POST THAT I CRIED WHEN POSTING IT.

Let me just post whatever I don’t like from what I see and feel yesterday. 7.30 @ Chomp chomp for dinner with Caleb, Brandon, Clarence & his girlfriend. Sometimes, I feel small promises and confirmation is hard to fulfill. Actually, when I typed until here, I started to wonder should I go on typing. Blogging is really true to be considered as another form of media. Media is shit. Critical approach is right. ALL FUCKING MEDIA MESSAGES ARE CONSTRUCTED. Many is included but much are also left out. Here am I typing, stating some much of my feelings, and problem but can I say even more like specific problems, like specific names, specific bastard and bitches that get into my way? NO. Why? Frictions, errors, problems, fights and quarrels will be generated. No one likes to see their name to be criticized on. Also, how to express your words may not be how your audiences see. Cause ALL PEOPLE EXPERIENCE MEDIA MESSAGE DIFFERENTLY. Shit stuff. Please let freedom be there when we are blogging. Ok, continue from where I’ve stopped. Oh yes, small promises. Never-mind, I won’t continue about that. I can’t afford to lose another friend. I’ve gambled too much on a friendship that is not worthwhile. So, I poor now. So, after dinner, Caleb suggested we go my house Buangkok green for a drink. And Brandon, Caleb and I went, leaving Clarence and his girlfriend alone while waiting for Clarence’s call to see if he’s meeting us later. But well, we didn’t meet in the end. We go down there to drink and chat. Cheers to success in life and friendship, also a special one for Caleb, cheers for success in getting Darylyn. We drank and smoked all the way. Suddenly, I heard a group of people calling my names. OH! They are Apple, Jesley, Chelmin, Kenneth and Derrick. Mass com friends. Nice people, I should just say it’s a pity that we are not in the same class. I cant remember what I’ve said and did soon after cause I think I’m abit drunk. Soon later we chit chatted awhile more before leaving for homes. I had a terrible headache which cause bad night sleep for me. And I was worried, tomorrow which is today, is 28th. Results for JAE appeal. I was worried the whole night about your results. I cant sleep till 6 am I suppose. I woke up at 8 am waiting for her message or whatever. But none came. Until 4 plus when I saw her online. I talked to her a little. I won’t say more. Cause I’ll get pissed. Also, do not say this word “security” in front of me. I hate this word. I work so hard to understand the meaning of it, practice it, giving it, but to fucking no avail. I will just keep my silence going on. But in my heart now, I wish to sing you a song.

This time, I think I’m to blame

Alright, job application later. May all the gods bless me! Haha.

“I NEED THE FUCKING JOB URGENTLY!” 

Met a new friend today, Xiang Han (Nick) I suppose. Nice friend and “chattable”. Wong, me and him cycled to Jalan Kayu to have prata and smoke. We spotted new places that has beautiful scenery. DSLR will come in hand. Jaha and so my nick applies. Night shooting soon. Tomorrow going to WWW to interview for a lifeguard position. Finally my lifeguard certificates comes in hand. Woohoo, $8/hr, please come to me!

“I MISS YOU!” 

HAVE I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS?

I’M FUCKING LONELY NOW!! 

Evening time, the best time enjoyed by married couple. 6.00pm, let’s go have a dinner at chomp chomp. Eat simple food, your favourite dessert, sugarcane juice. Wipe your small little face and mouth when you are eating and sweating at the same time. Soon after our stomachs are full, we go have a stroll at nearby park. Exercise at the fitness corner, sit down and chit chat. Tease you. Play swing with you and pushing you to the highest limit. Wait till our food to be digest, we would go back and tabao your favourite dessert again and go home. A pity that we do not have a house by ourselves. If not, we can go back home and bath and brush up. Then, we shall sit down and watch our various channels and DVDs. Soon later when we are tired, we would then kiss each other goodnight and lights off. Oh yes, if we have a schnauzer, we can walk it to the park too. Simple but sweet is all I want. Here I’m back home missing you again.

It’s so uncomfortable! Ok, sunday! Nothing much to do. Random inspiration:

Used to be much more,

now left with nothing but sore.

Muse on the definition of forgiveness,

isn’t it the end of argument?

So much for being through these 6 years,

is a smile or reply a lot for a peer?

If it’s over,

let those memories be forever.